#23407156

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can ‘do it’ and what is more, you will – without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

You are full of stress at this time. It would seem that you are having more than your fair share of trials and tribulations and you are looking for a way out. You are not quite sure which way to go but the advice is – ‘Stop trying so hard’.

For some time now it would seem that you have been frustrated and emotionally inhibited. The circumstances which appear to be beyond your control are making it very difficult for you to develop the detached emotional attitude that you seek.

Whatever has caused the situation, you just don’t seem to be able to sustain or maintain relationships as you would wish to. What you really seek is to be able to develop a relationship with someone with whom you can truly share: Love, Serenity, Peace and Quiet. But you are a very demanding person and it is your nature that leads to disquiet and discord: you are like the tide, flotsam and jetsam… One minute you experience ‘highs’ and a few moments later ‘lows’. This obviously will introduce discord into any relationship and with this demanding attitude – the ideal state you desire is unable to develop. Despite the urge to gratify your natural desires, you impose a considerable self-restraint on your instincts in the belief that this demonstrates your superiority and raises you above the common herd. You are extremely critical of everything that is presently going on around you and you find it difficult to listen to or to take advice from anyone. You enjoy the original, the ingenious and the subtle.

You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards – and come what may – you abide by them.

oh, the possibilities

i want to know what love is.

weekend in pictures

1. clouds that remind me of candy floss
2. boredddd
3. i <3 my grandparents
4. happy birthday, grandma!
5. baking makes me happyyyy
6. marshmallow clouds
7. cutesy ice cubes
8. had your fair share of mooncakes yet?

as i sit here..

in the middle of the night, with a few of my favourite songs on repeat, i find myself seeking solace in this space yet again. to me, blogging has always been somewhat therapeutic, especially when things are not going particularly well for me. it is as though all those anger, self-loathe, frustration and dissatisfaction will somehow vanish into thin air as i turn my feelings into words. i’ve always loved blogging, to say the least. but lately i’ve been dreading to write something here. so many times, just right before i click the ‘Publish’ button, there’s this annoying little voice in my head that stops me from doing so. i would ask myself, why in the world would you want to put yourself out there for people to judge? and more often than not, i do what i do best, i choose to give in.

honestly, i don’t know what have i become. sometimes i can’t even bear to look at myself in the mirror. i don’t recognize that girl anymore. the one who looks utterly lost.. and pathetic. sigh, i wish i could stop feeling so miserable but the vicious cycle has certainly taken its toll on me.

nobody warned us about this. those bloody years we spent in school certainly did not prepare us for this. i know it’s too late to say this, but i really wish i knew. looking back, i had so much faith. i was so naive that i actually thought i could conquer them all.

come to think of it, how ridiculously silly i was.

all over the place

if i mix them up with a little gelatine and egg white, i wonder, would them stick together better?

it has never been my strong suit to focus on the positive side, but i shall do my very best.

#20476351

You are trying to establish yourself and make an impact despite the fact that everything around you seems to be against you – putting up barriers, but don’t be unduly concerned: you have the right ideas and come what may, they will soon be manifested and appreciated.

The way things are at this time is causing you considerable stress and anxiety. Your friends and acquaintances consider you to be – to say the least – difficult and unapproachable. Now it is because of this that you need to find some sort of solution. By doing nothing and waiting for matters to right themselves will only make things worse, but don’t rush into making hasty decisions – make haste slowly.

The situation at this time is one of considerable distress. You feel trapped and you are looking for some way out. You can find solace in the arms of someone who cares so long as there is no long-term emotional involvement. You are exhausted, over stressed and you refuse to give in. You are trying to minimise the tension by being physically active. It would seem that you are experiencing problems with an existing relationship and try as you might, you find it impossible to alter the situation because there is no co-operation. There is an urgent need for proper understanding which may only be accomplished by communication. At this time you feel that there is no ‘give and take’ on either side. This is resulting in constant depression. You are irritable and it could be said by your nearest and dearest that ‘you are hard to live with’. You feel the urgent need to get away from it all – even it’s only for a little while. You may be finding it difficult now to make firm decisions – you are restless and generally uptight.

The stress that you are experiencing at this time is due to the present situation – a situation of your own making. But trying to ignore it, hoping that it will go away, will only aggravate it further. What you need to do is to slow down – to relax and re-think the situation and by going slow, you may be amazed to find that most of your problems will resolve themselves.

desire leaves us heartbroken

if you are in pitch blackness, the only thing that you can do is to sit tight, and wait until your eyes get used to the dark.

i wish so hard that it is merely a dream, and that everything will be okay when i open my eyes.

when mummy’s not around..

the kitchen becomes my playground

today’s lunch:

roasted mixed potatoes & fusilli with asparagus and roasted red pepper sauce

and matcha yogurt cheesecake mousse with raspberry sauce for dessert.

here and now

a year has flown by in the blink of an eye.

much to my surprise, i can not remember much about that day. everything feels so surreal to me now, like it was happening in a world far away a long, long time ago.

i have a dream, but it’s flickering like a flame and slowly fading away.

and i don’t quite know what to hope for anymore.

time out

oh dear, can you believe September is here already? i know that time flies, yet i can’t help but freaked out a little because it seems like it was just yesterday when i was eagerly anticipating for the weekend getaway to come and now it’s gone before i could fully grasp it. and i really think i need something to fill in the void because i hate hate hate this emptiness i’ve been feeling inside ever since i got back.

it saddens me that happyland wasn’t so much of a happyland. it was neither sunshiney nor happy clappy like what we had expected, instead it was cold, gloomy and wistful. damn you, dreary weather! and not suprisingly, i still haven’t found my answer. nevertheless, i am grateful for the great company, crisp white bed, awesome breakfast place, fluffy cheesy omelet, cheap beer, BBT marathon and all those sinfully good food.